After telling his staff that he has been hearing a loud, irritating booing noise “pretty much everywhere” he goes, president Trump was quickly checked into Walter Reed Hospital to be seen by doctors. Once there, medical experts were quick to diagnose the president.

“Mr. Trump is now dealing with the auditory repercussions from years of inflicting damage on both the US Constitution and democracy,” Doctor Michael Sprouts stated. “We are quite sure that much of the damage is beyond repair, but the president can prevent worsening conditions by stepping down from office.”

As of press time experts at Walter Reed told reporters that the loud booing sound will likely be a lingering condition for the rest of Donald Trump’s life.