The NFL announced today that starting next weekend the league will be using plant-based, vegan footballs. The historic change comes after Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady held a press conference in which he spent over an hour telling reporters why he’s … Continue reading NFL Will Use ‘Animal-Free’ Footballs Now That Tom Brady Is Going Vegan
Pizza chain Little Caesars announced today that they have completely overhauled the ingredients that they use to make their pizza crusts, but that they’ve done absolutely nothing to make the rest of the pizza more palatable. “We went ahead and … Continue reading Little Caesars: ‘We Improved The Crust, But The Rest Of The Pizza Is Still Absolute Trash’
Representatives from the Green Bay Packers organization have admitted to the press that quarterback Aaron Rodgers’ helmet was custom made with a thick tin foil liner at his request. The team says that Rodgers wears the tin foil helmet in … Continue reading Aaron Rodgers’ Helmet Liner Completely Made Of Tin Foil
Refusing to say exactly what’s in their tuna, Subway released an odd, rambling statement today in which the company attempted to reassure the public that their fishy product is not made from people. “The tuna is definitely not shredded-up people,” … Continue reading ‘Our Tuna Is Definitely Not Shredded-Up People’ Suspicious, Overly-Specific Subway Statement Reads
