Madness: Impeachment hearings break for recess after hospice care workers lose control of Republicans

Caretakers were forced to halt today’s impeachment hearings after countless Republican congressmen threw geriatric temper tantrums during opening statements. The outbursts began when, in a move of solidarity, the elderly men all removed their hearing aids and then refused to … Continue reading Madness: Impeachment hearings break for recess after hospice care workers lose control of Republicans

Fired-up Bernie Sanders shouts blockage out of his own arteries

After experiencing discomfort in his chest last night, Senator Bernie Sanders went ahead and shouted at a blockage in his arteries until it cleared and his blood pressure returned to normal. “I’m not going to sit here and let 1% … Continue reading Fired-up Bernie Sanders shouts blockage out of his own arteries

Bernie Sanders blew out all 78 of his birthday candles in a single deafening shout

Senator Bernie Sanders celebrated his 78th birthday at his Vermont home today with friends, family, food and a big birthday cake. When the group finished singing Happy Birthday, Sanders – in a single 78-second shout – blew out all of … Continue reading Bernie Sanders blew out all 78 of his birthday candles in a single deafening shout