Jay Cutler Agrees to Ruin Dolpins’ 2017 Season for $10 Million

With Tannehill likely out for the year, an opening was created for Culter to come in and really disappoint Miami fans…

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Wright Brothers Condemn United Airlines Incident

In a timely press release the Wright Brothers, who invented flight, said “This isn’t what we intended. We only overbooked as a joke when racist aunt Karen wanted to visit, and she wasn’t technically, completely white.” Thank you for reading our latest informative news article. Check out more stories below – or like our Facebook…

BREAKING: Supreme Court Cancels 2016 Election, Unanimously

BREAKING: (D.C.) In an unprecedented judicial move, the United States Supreme Court has just used its power to halt the 2016 Presidential election on the grounds of an obscure, little-known, yet legitimate measure found in The U.S. Constitution. With one seat still vacant in the court, the 8-0 vote passed in the late hours of…

Milwaukee to Issue Flamethrowers to Residents

“Milwaukee, Wisconsin Alderman Jim Bohl has made a sweeping decree to issue flamethrowers to all residents in light of slow and ineffective snow-clearing efforts in the city. An order has already been put in with an undisclosed military manufacturer for nearly…”

Holiday Tip: Options for Recycling Your Relative – Part 2

“We were quickly made aware that a lot of our readers live in colder climates that do not warrant leaving a frozen corpse outside. So if you live in one of those areas that is just too cold, but you have a fireplace – read on…”

Texas Gov. Picks Guns Over Humanitarianism

Texas Governor Gregg Abbott (R-Texas), like many other state leaders, has sent a letter to President Obama stating that he will not allow any refugees into his state in light of the recent, tragic attacks in Paris, France. The decision was understandably made because of Abbott’s wanting to maintain the current, logical gun control laws…

Congressman Bob Brady Receives Restraining Order from Pope Francis

Congressman Bob Brady, who stole Pope Francis’s half-finished water glass after the pontiff’s address to congress, has been issued a restraining order to stay at least 500 feet away from the religious leader. Brady immediately took the glass of water to his wife, and two staffers in his office, where they then sipped the water and saved the rest because…

Elderly Real Estate Agent Clearly No Longer Cares if Listings Don’t Sell

Jeffrey Larson, a veteran, 70-something real estate agent in Southern California doesn’t care if his listings will sell. Larson’s overall lack of concern and unhelpful marketing for his clients caught the attention of YouReadyGrandma and we think you will enjoy seeing what he’s been up to in the past few months as well. Without further…