Obama backtracks on promise to spare the lives of innocent turkeys named Tater and Tot – ruining a longstanding American tradition.
Tallest first lady ever lifts President Obama in famous tradition.
Californians may have unknowingly gotten a lot of small children incredibly high.
A little known fact about our eight-foot-six-inch-tall first lady Michelle Obama is that she uses her phenomenally long and powerful arms to rescue cats and kittens that get stuck in Washington D.C. metropolitan area trees. Hovering at just over 8’6″, and being the tallest woman in the world, the first lady said that she felt compelled to use her stature for good. “When you are this tall, you are often asked to reach things in high places. Like one time Barack was playing basketball with Lebron, Curry, and Shaq and the ball got stuck on the top of the shot clock – 3 feet above the rim. So I walked over, did a little hop and grabbed the ball in the palm of my right hand.” It was then that Michelle realized that she could do so much more with her height. “I had just been watching a local news story about an incredible, 3-legged cat that was rescued by the fire department and saw that I could offer a helpful service to the community by saving cats that get stuck in trees. So we created a hotline for just these situations and I’ve saved over 325 cats during Barack’s presidency.” Thank you for reading our latest informative news article. Check out more stories below – or like our Facebook page.
The polls showed a likely win for her, but the results did not reflect that; whatsoever. Now we have a fail-safe and proven reason as to why he managed to become the next President of the United States of America.
There is, in fact, a 5th hijacked plan from 9/11 that is still flying above our borders, with hostages. Let that sink in, because I know I had to as well. Let’s just pause to think about that.”
“Obviously black people love sports, and that’s why their babies are born during the basketball season, and football, and for those Kenyan blacks – the spring track season,” said Palin.