South Carolina Governor Henry McMaster announced today that he will be performing the national anthem before the Super Bowl utilizing only his anus. Known for being outspoken – having demanded that everyone stand for the national anthem – McMaster says he’s been practicing for years and can ‘hit every note, low and high.’ In response to public outcry McMaster said that farting the national anthem is simply an expression of his First Amendment rights. (Article continues below image) “I firmly believe we can all stand and respect the flag during the national anthem – no matter where you come from, where the sound is coming from, or what that may smell like,” McMaster Return Home Take me to the MEMES! Advertisements
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“We wanted to name it something to do with the color blue, because the ocean is blue, even from space. In the end we settled on Whale Force and I think that’s just fine.”
Mass graves are filling up outside of the Ford Truck Plant in Dearborn, MI.
Ginsburg is maintaining a steady high with edibles from Senator Sanders until her new lung is healed.
“We do strongly prefer that they be handed over as they’ll be repurposed as thrusting devices in sex toys.”
Trump starts gagging and declares that ‘the golden juice went down the wrong pipe!’