Over 100 Million Eggs Recalled on Easter Over Concerns They’re Making Kids Gay

YouReadyGrandma

“Eggland’s Best apologizes if we’ve torn apart any families because of our gay eggs.”

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Weird Tech: Watch the Life Story of Animals as You Eat Them

YouReadyGrandma

“Unless Redbox starts squeezing out moist, two-year-old prosciutto with every DVD, I have no idea how they’re going to compete with this.”

Mueller Report Says President Trump has a Severe Flatulence Problem

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s not uncommon for the President to fart himself awake. Then, when he can’t fall back asleep, Mr. Trump passes the time on Twitter.”

Failing Papa John’s Hires Shaquille O’Neal to Eat Most of Their Pizzas

YouReadyGrandma

“Papa John’s confirms that Shaq will be allowed to say the N-word at his discretion within his seven contracted advertisements.”

Trump Eats 17 McDonald’s Apple Pies for Pi Day

YouReadyGrandma

“Mr. Trump rationalized eating 17 apple pies before vomiting all over himself and his desk. It makes sense to us, but we don’t expect the mainstream media to get it.” – Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Prego Under Fire for New Afterbirth-Style Pasta Sauce

YouReadyGrandma

Campbell’s reports selling over 1.2 tons of Prego Afterbirth-Style pasta sauce in the first week.

Trump’s High School Revokes GED

YouReadyGrandma

“We estimate that the president stopped caring about the English language at, or around, the 4th grade.”

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