Tostitos Releases Extreme Mild Salsa For White People


Tostitos describes their new Extreme Mild Clear Salsa for White People® as being a thick, gelatinous substance for those with genetic spice sensitivities.

Kanye West Was Selling Damaged Condoms at Coachella for $125


“Someone from that festival will be having an unwanted child that babbles bullshit for years; so when that happens, I highly recommend they name it Kanye.”

Trump Opens Marketing Company Called ‘Trump Consultation by Trump’


“Watch for the return of Toys “R” Trump, chains of Trumpback Steakhouse, Trumpley-Donaldson motorcycles and Old Trumpy Buffet.” – Sarah Huckabee Sanders

McDonald’s Secretly Sends Closed Restaurants’ ‘Food’ to Other Companies They Own

With McDonald’s closing hundreds of locations across the United States, it now appears that the company is trying to re-use their already purchased ingredients at other franchises. What’s more, it is widely-believed that the initial closings of McDonald’s locations are a part of a larger phase-out that will result in many more minimum wage ($15,080 annually), and lower-middle class workers ($25,500-$32,500) to lose their jobs while in the process of working at McDonald’s to solidly build their resumes. An inside, higher-up source, who recently left the declining corporation due to a $200,000 a year pay cut ($1.2 million to $1 million), confirmed that McDonald’s is “clearly pinching pennies.” Those who are concerned about what they are putting into their bodies are now being warned to avoid any “new” items from “McDonald’s-owned ‘McCompanies’ and any additions on their menus.” “Watch out for, ‘limited-time items’ similar to the questionable-at-best McRib,” warned the former insider employee. They included that “the unbelievable patience, tolerance, and naivety of the (McDonald’s) workers is what all of us much wealthier, corporate, fast-food-leaders rely on to maintain our lifestyles that aren’t even knowable fantasies of starving children worldwide.” Further, McDonald’s delivery trucks have shown up and unloaded at companies that used to be officially owned by the corporation. Skeptical at first, we found that multiple Internet searches turned up limited information about what McDonald’s actually owns, or has some sort of ownership in via other company names. It was also shared by a biology and economics double major who is a Chipotle fast-food worker that the reason McDonald’s trucks were delivering to their Chicago-based store was due to the “very silent” re-investment that McDonald’s made after certain companies like Chipotle decided to also go anti-GMO, which “ironically helps companies like Monsanto, Dupont (Pioneer), Syngenta, and McDonald’s to grow while essentially helping no one at all.” (Photo by: 乾隆帝 via Wikipedia) This is a developing story. ***I was asked to include, and then confirmed, that the middle class in the U.S. would include a small number of  people in the country reaching about $70,000/yr  USD right now – a number that has recently been scientifically found by researches to be the cusp of not feeling any more happiness from additional income. A CEO in Seattle has followed suit by paying himself and his 120 employees all the same amount – $70,000/yr. *Another follower asked me to mention that the minimum wage (in the U.S.), if it had kept up with the cost of living, would be “around $20/hr.” This is unconfirmed, but I’d like to hear what you all find. If true… if you barely make over 40k a year… you are making what minimum wage should be for everyone to afford the average cost of living. Thank you for reading our latest article. For more of the latest follow us on Facebook.

Man Kicked Out of Barnes & Noble for Reading Out Loud


“At first I thought she was kidding, because we like to have a good time at the store, but then I walked up to him and he gave me that same ‘what the hell are you staring at’ look that Debra had described.”

Philsmoore told reporters that he wasn’t even that mad until Wellington began to increase his volume.

“It was like he was mocking me. The old bastard wouldn’t quit.”

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