“Contrary to popular belief, fingerlike appendages do not exit the butt and press on the phone screen, that’s poop you’re thinking of.”
Due to the lack of legal consequences, throngs of hallucinating residents have congregated downtown at the 16th Street Mall to touch each other’s faces.
“We totally nixed three scenes where Dwayne Johnson would’ve been firing his gun at a bunch of hippos for absolutely no reason.”
“Now it looks like we’re going to have to burn off about 16 square miles of mature opium crop. So if you live in the area, buckle the [expletive] up on Saturday.”
“At this point teachers must be making, what? $125 thousand a year and they won’t stop complaining?” DeVos stated. “We have to push back against these union thugs who are always striking.”
“My dreams became littered with terrifying sex monsters that attacked my lesbian lover Barb.” – Elizabeth Warren
“We sell the meat to Taco Bell, send a bunch of parts to candy factories and use the rest to make high-end huffing glue.”