In response, Sam’s Club announced they will be selling “everything necessary to create an elaborate sex dungeon” by July.
President Trump celebrated his 73rd birthday by getting a tattoo of Pepe the Frog on his right butt cheek.
We can’t have Canada smelling like burnt, used condoms anymore,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stated.
“With McCain already tormenting Donald Trump by repeatedly moving and re-hiding the pee tape, we can only expect worse and worse episodes.”
McConnell is being investigated by the US. Senate Ethics Committee for spending $127,000 on a new heat lamp system and gigantic basking rocks in his office.
“It’s hard to keep the kids clean and the depression buried deep, deep down inside. Purell lets you do both.”
“People who have to smell their food before eating it are complete monsters.”