Target Adds BDSM Section Next to Electronics

In response, Sam’s Club announced they will be selling “everything necessary to create an elaborate sex dungeon” by July.

Fresh Ink: Trump Gets Pepe The Frog Tattoo For His Birthday

President Trump celebrated his 73rd birthday by getting a tattoo of Pepe the Frog on his right butt cheek.

Canada Will Ban All Single-Use Condoms by 2021

We can’t have Canada smelling like burnt, used condoms anymore,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stated.

Ghost of John McCain Announces 2020 Presidential Bid

“With McCain already tormenting Donald Trump by repeatedly moving and re-hiding the pee tape, we can only expect worse and worse episodes.”

Mitch McConnell Caught Using Taxpayer Money To Remodel His Terrarium

McConnell is being investigated by the US. Senate Ethics Committee for spending $127,000 on a new heat lamp system and gigantic basking rocks in his office.

Soccer Moms Are Drinking Purell to Take the Edge Off This Summer

“It’s hard to keep the kids clean and the depression buried deep, deep down inside. Purell lets you do both.”

‘Food Smellers’ Need to Stop Weirding-Out Normal Eaters

“People who have to smell their food before eating it are complete monsters.”

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