Disgusting Lactose Intolerant People Emit the Same Amount of Methane as Dairy Cows

“I can tell you how the world ends right now. We fart ourselves to death.” – Stanford Professor Böse Blahung

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Eric Trump is Currently Locked in a Room That’s Being Pumped Full of Pollution

Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans.

Weird Tech: Watch the Life Story of Animals as You Eat Them

“Unless Redbox starts squeezing out moist, two-year-old prosciutto with every DVD, I have no idea how they’re going to compete with this.”

Mueller Report Says President Trump has a Severe Flatulence Problem

“It’s not uncommon for the President to fart himself awake. Then, when he can’t fall back asleep, Mr. Trump passes the time on Twitter.”

Walmart Implants Elderly Greeters With Robotic Parts

“The geriatric cyborgs have two convenient USB ports allowing customers to charge their phones,” Walmart CEO Doug McMillon stated.

Joe Biden Caught on Tape Saying “Punch Her in the Taco”

Biden was leering at the frail, 85 year old Senator Dianne Feinstein when he uttered the phrase.

Pope Francis Demands Every Dirty Detail on Sexual Abuse for His Adult Fantasy Novel

Pope Francis’ adult book is entitled ‘The Divinci Load.’

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