United States Border Patrol informed reporters today that they have recovered a box full of highly-classified documents after former president Trump was spotted attempting to throw the object over the US-Mexico border wall.
“It wasn’t one fluid motion when he tried to dispose of the evidence,” border patrol officer Greg Jorgenson stated. “In fact, he tried several times to throw the box over the wall, but Mr. Trump was simply too weak. After awhile he just started pulling out documents, crumpling them up, and throwing them over the wall while yelling ‘where’s a toilet when you need one!?'”
Notably, reporters found that the 45th president could have simply walked 500 feet to his left as there would have been an opening in the incomplete wall.