Countless resorts and businesses across Cancun boarded up their windows and doors yesterday as citizens, tourists and the cartel all fled the city upon hearing that Ted Cruz would be degrading the area with his presence again while he escaped yet another deadly Texas deep freeze.
‘If you’re still in Texas, that’s your fault! I can’t believe that everyone didn’t learn from what happened the last time! Why risk your life when you could simply buy your whole family plane tickets and hotel rooms!?” Ted Cruz tweeted upon landing.
After several hours of wandering around a deserted Cancun, Cruz began to suspect that something was off with the city.
“Hey wait a second. Where is everybody?” Cruz asked while almost experiencing for the first time what it’s like to sort of give a shit about someone else.
By nightfall Cruz had already spent the entire day searching Cancun trying to find any place that had left their power and water on.
“This is terrible. No water. No electricity. No one to help me!” a desperate Cruz tweeted. “And honestly it’s a lot warmer than I thought it would be. #uncomfortable”