Dog Fancy Magazine Names Elon Musk ‘Bitch Of The Year’

Elon Musk was “more than a little bit surprised” today when it was announced that he was Dog Fancy’s ‘Bitch of the Year.’

“Now you may be thinking ‘dogs are pretty dumb,’ but there are many other reasons why Elon was our Bitch of the Year,” editor Nancy Tumerns stated. “Just like a dog, Elon doesn’t pay taxes and he has no idea why everyone would yell at him about it. Additionally, Elon just wants approval, not your opinion. He needs to hear that he’s a good boy.”

Tumerns continued her explanation.

“Like a dog, Elon also enjoys playing with cool looking toys – such as rockets. He’s also not that great at verbal or written communication, yet he still likes to make noise to get attention,” Tumerns stated.

“He’s also been given a lot of free handouts, like the billions of dollars he’s received from the US government,” Tumerns stated. “And even after receiving that money, Elon will still stick his butt in the government’s face and expect more.”

“Finally, Elon gets very excited when playing with other Doges, including Baby Doge,” Tumerns stated. “So for all of this and more, we are excited to declare that Elon Musk is our Bitch of the Year!”