Little Caesars: ‘We Improved The Crust, But The Rest Of The Pizza Is Still Absolute Trash’

Pizza chain Little Caesars announced today that they have completely overhauled the ingredients that they use to make their pizza crusts, but that they’ve done absolutely nothing to make the rest of the pizza more palatable.

“We went ahead and added more honey and oregano to the crust, but we’re still only going to use 51% percent real cheese on the rest of the pie,” a statement from the company read.

“We’re not too clear on what the other 49% is made up of – so we’ll just say it’s a secret – but all you have to do is hit that 51% mark and the FDA says you can still call it cheese,” the statement read. “So we improved the crust, but the rest of the pizza is still absolute trash.”

Little Caesars also took this opportunity to announce their new slogan: “It’s definitely edible and it’s definitely pizza! Pizza!”


Photo credit Mike Mozart