Hesitant Parents Sending Least Favorite Child To Get Vaccinated First

Due to widespread mistrust of both science and the CDC, the vast majority of kids age 5 to 11 who have been vaccinated are those designated as the “least favorite child” in their family. In fact, statistics show that more than 63% of vaccinated kids meet this criteria.

Unvaccinated mother of two Kayleigh McCormick says her whole family is waiting to see what happens to her 8 year-old son Brayden.

“I can conduct my own science experiments too,” McCormick stated. “If parents want to test this shot out on their… let’s say… uglier, less intelligent, or generally more off-putting child, then it’s their right to do so! I should be allowed to test just how safe this thing really is without having to worry if myself or my most-prized child are going to die.”

Notably, some parents testing the shot out on kids are starting to realize that it will not cause injury or death for their not-so-treasured child; resulting in disbelief, shock, and sometimes visible disappointment.

As of press time it was clear that the vaccine couldn’t harm children anywhere near as much as the trauma will when these kids realize what happened to them.