Man Announcing Unprompted That He’s ‘Not Into Golden Showers’ Definitely Into Golden Showers

In a private speech at a retreat yesterday, former president Trump – completely unprompted – brought up the rumor that he had been peed on by Russian prostitutes while in Moscow.

“I’m not into golden showers,” he told the crowd. “You know the great thing, our great first lady – ‘That one,’ she said, ‘I don’t believe that one.’”

Here’s what people are saying:

“Sure, maybe he’s not into golden showers, but that doesn’t rule out watersports or other piss play. He should really have taken the time to address that.” – Jeff Simms, 49, porn star

“It would be unfortunate if anybody happened to have a copy of the so-called ‘pee tape’. Very unfortunate indeed.” – Vladimir Putin

“I would pee on Donald in a heartbeat if I could.” – Melania Trump


Main photo credit Gage Skidmore