‘Instagram Kids’ Cancelled After Matt Gaetz Obtains Beta Testing Profile

Facebook announced today that the company will be halting its creation of the new ‘Instagram Kids’ platform after discovering that Florida representative Matt Gaetz – who is under investigation for sex trafficking and sex with a minor – had somehow managed to obtain a beta testing profile.

Facebook says that although Gaetz was honest and uploaded a picture of himself for his profile that the facial recognition technology failed to identify him as a fully-grown adult.

“The system assumed that Mr. Gaetz was a toddler that had yet to grow into his massive head,” a Facebook representative confirmed. “So we cannot move forward with this project until we can figure out how to differentiate between small children and predatory man-babies.”

As of press time nobody in Gaetz’s office had responded to multiple requests for an interview because they were too busy trying to fight a ticket from Gaetz repeatedly driving too slowly while in a school zone.