9 Easy Ways To Convince Anti-Vaxxers To Get ‘The Jab’

There are several simple ways to encourage anti-vaxxers to finally take the shot and help us get out of this pandemic.

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Tell them the United States will return to fighting in Afghanistan once we hit a 90% vaccination rate.
A $100 donation will be sent to Israel for every shot given.
Authority: A strongly-worded, rambling promise will be given by Donald Trump reassuring that the vaccine will not harm white people.
AMERICA!: All shots will be dyed red, white and blue.
Historical heroes: Gently remind them that George Washington mandated vaccines for smallpox during the Revolutionary War.
Guns: Give them guns that shoot the vaccine and let them have at it like a giant paintball battle.
Abortion: Close one Planned Parenthood per 25 million vaccinations.
Religion: Tell them the holes in Jesus’ hands and feet were from vaccines. Administer the shots accordingly.
More money: Hand out ‘Anti-Stimulus Checks’ with cash taken from programs meant to help the hungry and poor.