Pope ‘Deeply Concerned’ As Image Of Jesus Hasn’t Appeared On Waffles, Chips, Fries Or Toast In A Very Long Time

Pope Francis gave a short speech today in which he expressed a deep concern over the fact that the image of Jesus has not appeared on any snacks or breakfast foods for a very, very long time. The Pope says that the apparent disappearance of the most popular part of the Holy Trinity has shaken him to his core. Here’s what people are saying:

“At this point we’re not sure if Jesus is okay or not. I haven’t seen Him in so long that it’s starting to make me question my faith. Did Jesus really appear on a Cheeto in 2008, or did we all just imagine it?” – Pope Francis
“Maybe if someone would buy my invention then this wouldn’t be a fucking problem.” – Anonymous, Creator of The Jesus Toaster
“Of course our Lord has abandoned us! We haven’t invented any new foods worthy of appearing on since Nabisco introduced the Sun-dried Tomato & Basil Wheat Thins back in 2005.” – Father Roger Whitman