Trump Only Aware Of His Own System Of (Bounced) Checks & (Negative Account) Balances

Despite being president for four years, Donald Trump made it clear today that he still doesn’t know how the US government operates. Trump is livid that Brett Kavanaugh – who he nominated to the position of Supreme Court justice – is not always voting the way he wants him to. Trump says Kavanaugh “owes him everything.”

Experts weighing in on the issue say that the former president has no idea what he’s talking about.

“Mr. Trump is completely unaware of the 3 branches of government and how they work together,” Harvard professor and constitutional scholar Samantha Huskins confirmed. “This is likely because he only admires dictatorships.”

When one reporter informed Trump that the government has three branches and that “everything operates on a system of checks and balances, so the branches don’t always necessarily agree with each other,” the former president became livid.

“Of course I know the damn checks and balances! I invented checks and balances!” a wild-eyed Trump shouted. “All I do is bounce checks and have negative account balances. You’re talking to the number one expert here. So what’s your point?”

Before turning to walk away, Trump told reporters that Kavanaugh wouldn’t even have a job at a law firm if it wasn’t for him.

“He doesn’t have the courage you need to be a great justice. I saved his life. I gave him mouth-to-mouth with my beautiful lips,” Trump claimed. “Who would have him? Nobody. Totally disgraced. Only I saved him. Where would he be without me?”

As of press time it was clear that Trump was still only aware of his personal system of bounced checks and negative account balances.


Photo credit Gage Skidmore