‘Saying No To The Commission Doesn’t Imply We’re Guilty’ McConnell Chants With Hypnotized Republicans

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'Saying No To The Commission Doesn't Mean You're Guilty' McConnell Chants At Hypnotized Republicans

Mitch McConnell (R-KY) was seen hypnotizing fellow Republicans on the Senate floor today with the clear goal of making them feel okay with voting ‘no’ on the January 6th commission.

“Voting against the Capitol insurrection investigation in no way implies that Republicans are admitting guilt – or trying to cover up anything,” McConnell uttered into a microphone before pulling out a pocket watch on a chain.

Now that he had everyone’s attention, McConnell began the hypnosis by slowly swinging the watch back and forth.

“You’re getting sleepy. Very sleepy,” McConnell mumbled. “I want you to close your eyes and I’m going to count backward from ten. When I snap my fingers you will find yourself in a deep state of relaxation; like when you hear that an inmate on death row was killed, or how it feels to rest your head on a My Pillow at night.”

McConnell counted down and then snapped his fingers; leaving the Senators in a trance.

“Now, repeat after me,” McConnell muttered.

“Saying ‘no’ to the January 6th commission doesn’t imply we’re guilty of anything. Saying ‘no’ to the January 6th commission doesn’t imply we’re guilty of anything. Saying ‘no’ to the January 6th commission doesn’t imply we’re guilty of anything.”

Their voices echoed throughout the Senate chamber.

After nearly 15 minutes of chanting, McConnell released the Senators from the hypnosis by whispering “They’re coming for your guns” – causing every Republican in the room to snap back to their skewed version of reality.

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Unruly Conservatives Will Get Tased Mercilessly & Without Warning On Spirit Airlines
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