Fauci Warns ‘It’ll Be Harder To Spot The Assholes’ As Mask Mandates Are Lifted


Dr. Anthonoy Fauci released a statement today warning Americans that as mask mandates are lifted “it will become harder and harder to spot the assholes in a crowd.”

“Watching people scream in public and refuse to wear masks will soon be a thing of the past as more and more anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers lie about being fully vaccinated.” Dr. Fauci’s statement read. “We must be careful. Citizens are going to have to be even more diligent and look for the other warning signs besides the obvious Trump mask.”

Fauci then reminded citizens of common things to watch out for when trying to avoid assholes.

“I’m not saying to avoid ALL large crowds,” his statement read. “I’m just saying to stay far, far away from Confederate flags, the Karen haircut, red hats, and adults cosplaying as would-be heroes by open-carrying large guns. Follow these rules and you should be just fine.”

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CDC Warns That People Who Cosplay As Open Carry Heroes Are Now Also Pretending To Be Vaccinated

The Center For Disease Control issued a warning today to the American public letting them know that “the same people who enjoy cosplaying as a ‘good-guy-with-a-gun’ are now also pretending that they are vaccinated.” “They are lying again,” head of CDC Rochelle Walensky stated. “They are once again claiming that they have something in them that they do not; the ability to be a hero and a COVID vaccine in their systems.” As of press time the CDC was advising the public to continue avoiding these people, as usual, for multiple health and personal reasons. Photo credit Eli Christman
man who cosplays as an open carry hero now also pretending to be vaccinated
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