After realizing that his Republican colleagues were not going to do anything to stop him, a nervous Matt Gaetz worked up the courage today to send a $900 Venmo payment to his longtime friend and fellow alleged sexual predator Joel Greenberg.
Careful not to mess up again, this time Gaetz didn’t type out “sex with underage girl” in the memo, instead opting to go with:
“C’mon man! Get it together. This HAS TO BE LAST TIME!!!💦🍆”
A sweaty, shaking Gaetz then hit “Pay” just before realizing that he had forgotten to change the settings to private again.
As of press time Republicans were defending Gaetz, claiming that he was clearly making payments to his gardener for watering his eggplants.
Original Photo credit Gage Skidmore