Employers Now Asking ‘Who Won The 2020 Election?’ In Job Interviews To Weed Out Crazy Candidates

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Employers now asking who won the 2020 election in interviews to weed out crazy candidates

It might be illegal, but top employers from around the country, including Walmart, Amazon, Kroger, Home Depot, and FedEx have started asking interviewees the screening question: “Who won the 2020 election?”

The corporate decision to ask such a question comes after companies realized that candidates who know how to properly process and understand reality make for much better employees.

“Basic reasoning skills are inherently beneficial when working at Kroger stores,” CEO William Rodney McMullen stated. “The last thing we want is for the employees stocking our shelves to start building a wall of canned garbanzo beans while yelling at non-white customers to ‘go back to whatever aisle they came from, and to keep out of aisle 26!'”

Several individuals have already filed lawsuits against many of these Fortune 500 companies, but judges have yet to rule in their favor; instead, out of pity, they’ve suggested that plaintiffs file an insanity plea to help them not have to pay the legal fees during their unemployment.

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Bill Gates Says Everyone Must Eat Fake Meat By 2030 In New Book Titled 'The Future Sucks: Why We Should Give Up Now'

Billionaire Bill Gates is set to release a depressing new book next week titled ‘The Future Sucks: Why We Should Give Up Now’. Gates, who is typically known for his cautious optimism, says there’s no hope for humanity anymore. “If we want to survive climate change and be able to feed everyone, we’ll all have to be eating fake meat by 2030,” Gates stated. “But we all know that’s never going to fucking happen, so instead of delaying the inevitable, we might as well just give up right now.” As of press time PETA released a statement disavowing all previous stances on animal cruelty and sustainability. “Since reading an early copy of Mr. Gates’ book, a large percentage of vegans and vegetarians have started eating meat and other animal-based products again,” the PETA statement read. “Because if everyone else isn’t going to try, we might as well speed things up by joining in on the delicious decimation of our planet.” Experts say that the vegans who have reverted back to their old dietary ways have increased their carbon footprints by as much as 70% and decreased their level of fucks given down to zero.
Bill gates says well all eat synthetic beef by 2030 in new book titled the future sucks why we should all give up
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