Adam Westin of Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin just faked his 500th orgasm in under a year in an ongoing effort to avoid having children with his wife Rebecca who is completely unaware of what’s going on.

“Adam and I have been trying for a baby for over 11 months now and we’ve both had good results on our fertility tests so I have no idea what’s going on,” Rebecca stated. “Maybe we’re just not meant to have kids.”

Just minutes after finishing his 500th fake orgasm Adam Westin was in the bathroom masturbating for the 500th time in under a year.