Citing the fact that the New York Jets are incapable of catching anything, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced today that the 0-11 team is now exempt from the league’s COVID rules.
“Since they clearly couldn’t catch anything to save their lives, we believe that it’s safe to say that they couldn’t catch anything off the field – even if they tried,” Goodell confirmed in a press conference.
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Thu Dec 10 , 2020
President Trump told reporters today that he was open to the idea of becoming president of any states that want to secede from the union. The comment came after reporters asked the president what he thought about conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh stating that “there cannot be a peaceful coexistence between liberals and conservatives,” and that “we’re trending toward secession.” “What we have here is a deeply divided country. I mean, they mostly voted for me, but we’re heavily divided.” Trump stated. “So if it comes down to it, I’d love to be president of the new Confederate States of America. If that’s what the people want, we should give it to them!”
