Trump Couldn’t Take SATs Due to ‘Bone Spurs in His Buttocks’

It was revealed today by Donald Trump’s niece Mary that the president cheated on his SATs by having someone else take the exam for him. The White House has admitted to the allegation and Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany provided an odd explanation.

“Bone spurs, which are a painful bony projections associated with osteoarthritis, can hurt nearby nerves and cause excruciating pain. Mr. Trump’s bone spurs just so happen to be in his buttocks somewhat near his coccyx,” McEnany told reporters. “Because of this, the president cannot sit for long periods of time. Sometimes he can’t sit at all, which is part of the reason for the diapers. So you can imagine why he couldn’t sit there for a three hour test. “