Trump Won’t Wear a Mask Because He’s Afraid of This Goosebumps Book

Sources inside the White House revealed today that president Trump refuses to wear a mask because he is afraid of the R.L. Stine children’s horror book The Haunted Mask in which a Halloween mask slowly becomes part of the main character’s face and they are unable to remove it.

“Ever since reading this Goosebumps book back in 1993, Mr. Trump hasn’t been comfortable putting any sort of mask on his face as he is terrified that it will become permanently attached,” White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany stated. “I think we all need to respect the president and not mock him for his fear.”

McEnany also noted something that might explain Trump’s skin color.

“The president covers himself in Goo Gone – America’s number one adhesive remover – every morning to ensure that nothing can become stuck to his body. You might think it’s funny, but so far it’s worked.”