Parler App Quickly Becomes #1 Racist Content Repository

YouReadyGrandma

Advertised as the answer to free speech suppression on social media, Parler has outpaced every other two-star rated app designed for people who want to share racist, sexist, and homophobic content without repercussions.

Parler, which exists as a rejection of Twitter’s culture of banning despicable users, is now the go-to place when you want to find similarly depraved people who become giddy at the sight of tactless, lowbrow material.

“Parler is a safe haven for the hardworking, upstanding bigots who just want to let their bottled up hate out into a friendly and welcoming environment,” founder John Matze stated. “Social justice warriors wield no power here as sympathy and empathy have zero leverage on Parler. Our cold, unfeeling moderators will not allow a community of liberal snowflakes to punish users for showing their true colors.”

Despite attempting to become the final solution for alt-right social media, as of press time, Parler users were still being fired from their jobs for posting deeply insensitive content on the platform because, apparently, social rules for common decency still apply to hate speech within the confines of perceived safe spaces.

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Disney Redesigns 'It's a Small World' as 'It's a Big World and We Need to Check Our Biases and Accept Everyone for Their Differences Without Passing Unfair Judgement'

Disney parks in Florida and California announced today that they will be giving the classic Fantasyland ride ‘It’s a Small World’ a complete makeover in order to bring the ride up to speed with modern times. The ride will notably no longer segregate various races and cultures from one another while highlighting stereotypes, but rather depict these groups living together in harmony. Disney says the company hopes the ride will teach kids and adults alike to learn to love and accept everyone for who they are. Despite their best intentions, the planned changes to the ride have outraged many on the right, including political pundit Sean Hannity who has called for a boycott of the company. “Disney has taken a timeless classic and butchered it by not keeping the races separated in order to… in order to… to celebrate our differences and uniqueness,” Hannity stated. “If they truly cared about diversity then they would have left the ride the hell alone!” In response to conservative anger about the change, Disney announced that they would also be updating the ride’s name to ‘It’s a Big World and We Need to Check Our Biases and Accept Everyone for Their Differences Without Passing Unfair Judgement’. A move that the right is calling both radical and inflammatory.
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