Husband Can Have a Nice Father’s Day Gift ‘When He Starts Acting Like a Parent Too’

Dawn Peterson of Grand Rapids, Michigan had to explain to her kids this morning why their dad was only getting a tie for Father’s Day for the 7th year in a row.

“Daddy can have a nice gift when he starts acting like a parent too,” Peterson told her children. “As soon as your father starts coming to parent-teacher conferences, baseball games, and recitals, then he can have new fishing gear. But until then, he gets another tie because drinking a case of beer and cutting the grass isn’t parenting.”

Meanwhile, husband James Peterson says he feels depressed and under appreciated.

“If they get me another tie I’m fucking done,” James Peterson confirmed.

As of press time, Dawn and James were openly considering getting a divorce. Signaling the first time they’ve agreed on something important in well over a year.