New 45-Gallon Donation Basket Not as Subtle as Priest Imagined

Hurting for money after several weeks without holding a single mass, Father Peter Gibbons of St. Margaret’s Parish in Austin, TX is now deeply regretting his decision to buy a 45-gallon trash can for collecting donations.

“The optics are off. That’s for sure. I feel like I could have picked a better container,” Gibbons frowned. “I just don’t think the parishioners are believing my story that God told me to buy a heavy duty trash can for this purpose.”

As of press time, Gibbons said he would be getting rid of the giant container and be resorting back to good old fashioned Catholic guilt next weekend.