Sporting vibrant red lipstick and holding up signs offering free kisses, countless protesters in Huntington Beach, California and Springfield, Illinois completely ignored government social distancing rules over the weekend by gathering together and passionately planting kisses on one another.
“This is exactly what you don’t want to see,” head immunologist Dr. Anthony Fauci stated. “Not because 85% of the protesters are male, that’s fine by me. But because this is the surefire way to spread COVID-19 short of performing full-on rim jobs.”
As of press time, many protesters had taken Dr. Fauci’s statement as a challenge and police had begun arresting people for lewd acts and indecent exposure.