Scientists Preemptively Warn Against Sticking Your Head in the Oven

In the wake of Donald Trump suggesting that we inject people with disinfectants to kill the coronavirus during his daily address, scientists have gone ahead and preemptively issued a warning against turning your oven on and then sticking your head right in.

“What we’re doing here is trying to cover all of our bases before Mr. Trump proposes another potentially fatal solution for COVID-19. The heat from the oven will not kill the virus before it has already killed you.” head of the US Center for Science Paul Higgins stated. “We’re also going to go ahead and warn against shining UV lights directly into your eyes or inserting flashlights into your rectum. We’ll be issuing more warnings as we come up with them.”

The Center for Science also said it would be taking suggestions for new warnings from the general public.

“No idea is too stupid at this point,” Higgins stated. “Just send your warnings our way and we’ll announce them to the nation.”