After binge watching all seven episodes of Tiger King yesterday on Netflix, president Trump has quickly become the biggest supporter of the imprisoned celebrity Joe Exotic, speaking out about the jailed man’s innocence.
“Minus most of the gay stuff, we’re basically the same person,” Trump told journalists. “We were both married multiple times to beautiful, young people. We are savvy business men, and we are both handsome men who enjoy the finer things in life.”
Those close to the president say Trump is strongly considering pardoning Joe Exotic, having even suggested that Joe would make a great replacement for Mike Pence in the 2020 election.
“Look, Joe’s a business man and entertainer-turned-politician just like me,” Trump stated. “And we both have great hair. Can’t forget that. So maybe we’ll replace Mike with Joe. Maybe. Just to spice things up a bit. We’ll see. We’ll see.”
Notably, after finishing the Netflix series Trump was actually a huge fan of Carole Baskin before he was told by staffers that she was, in fact, a woman and not another long-haired man.
“At first I thought the story was: rich-man-beats-gay-guy. But that wasn’t the case,” Trump stated. “The bottom line, if we can agree on anything, it’s that Carole Baskin is a total bitch who murdered her husband.”
As of press time Melania Trump was being forced to return her newly purchased liger and was ordered to stop rubbing fish oil on the president.