Minnesota Senator and moderate presidential candidate Amy Klobuchar is one step closer to her dream of becoming Secretary of State after finishing third in the New Hampshire primary. A smiling Klobuchar told a crowd at her rally in South Carolina today that “it’s all going according to plan.” “My campaign has always been about carrying out underwhelming, minimal change – I don’t do revolutions – and that’s why I’ve always secretly been shooting for the Secretary of State role, not president; you can only achieve so much.” Klobuchar told a stunned crowd. “With your continued slightly-above-average support, together we can hopefully make a barely noticeable difference in the somewhat distant future.” Photo by Gage Skidmore Advertisements
1 in 4 people are chronic snorers, and if you’re reading this, we know that you’re desperately looking for a solution that will end your partner’s snoring for good. So here it is, plain and simple: this quick lifehack will completely change your life. Step 1: Acquire 35, 12-pound weighted blankets. Step 2: Wait for your partner to fall asleep. Step 3: Slowly cover your partner in layer after layer of weighted blankets until the snoring stops. Ignore any muffled screams and within minutes you’ll be enjoying the silence. Step 4: Repeat the process if your future cellmate also turns out to be a snorer.