First Family Welcomes Nagini the Presidential Python to the White House

The White House announced today that a new scaly friend – Nagini the presidential python – would now be living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. President Trump, who is openly averse to dogs, surprised the country with his pet choice.

“Nagini is an 11-foot reticulated python from China; one of the few breeds of snakes that can swallow a human whole,” president Trump beamed as he spoke to reporters. “Isn’t he magnificent? He is. He really is.”

Notably, taxpayers footed the bill for the purchase and transportation of Nagini who, due of the current trade war with the China, cost Americans $1,285,000.

As of 8pm Eastern time, animal control had been called several times to come to the White House after Nagini broke loose. It wasn’t until the 8th attempt that someone took the call seriously.

“We thought the calls were kids playing a prank,” a representative from DC Animal Control stated. “Nobody in their right mind is particularly shocked to hear that there’s a dangerous snake in the White House that everyone wants removed.”