Trump to Reinstate ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ to Prevent a Buttigieg Presidency

Trump Poops His Pants at Pennsylvania Rally

President Trump announced today that he will be reinstating “Don’t ask, don’t tell” (DADT), which was the official United States policy on military service by gays, bisexuals, and lesbians up until 2011. President Trump says the law will bar openly gay people like Pete Buttigieg from being Commander in Chief of the US military.

“It doesn’t matter what role you are in the military,” Trump stated. “private, corporal, top, bottom, sergeant, twink, or bear; if you’re out, you’re out! That means you Mayor Pete!”

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GoFundMe Raises Over $200,000 to Remove Malignant Rush Limbaugh From Lung Tumor

After conservative shock jock Rush Limbaugh told his radio listeners that he was diagnosed with lung cancer today, people across the globe opened their hearts and their wallets to raise money to remove Rush Limbaugh from the young lung tumor. Around noon Eastern time a GoFundMe page was set up to raise money for the operation and within an hour the goal of $200,000 had already been surpassed; meaning that surgeons will be able to extract Rush Limbaugh from the tumor this coming Friday. Meanwhile, doctors say they are baffled by the situation as it is the first documented case of cancer getting cancer.
Devil Gives Rush Limbaugh Warm Welcome By Turning Up Heat in Hell
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