A visibly shocked and annoyed Pope Francis had to slap a woman in a crowd at St Peter’s Square during a New Year’s Eve party after she aggressively and repeatedly grabbed his ass.
Francis, who had been twerking through the square, had just finished grinding with a young boy. The Pope then turned and started shaking his ass at the crowd. Just then, a nearby woman lunged, seized his cheeks, and pull him towards her. The abrupt humping motion seemed to cause him pain as Francis swiftly slapped the woman before pulling his ass free and dancing his way back toward the boy.
As of press time the woman in question had been identified, charged with sexual assault, and excommunicated from the Church. Meanwhile, Francis and the boy were spotted this morning having brunch. The two were then headed to purchase the teenager a brand new car, the latest iPhone, and whatever else it takes to get past last night’s trauma.