Republicans kneel in protest during National Anthem at impeachment hearings

YouReadyGrandma

In a show of solidarity with president Trump, prominent Republican lawmakers made waves today when they took a knee during the national anthem. Republicans say they’re protesting the impeachment hearings in Washington DC because they are “un-American.”

“When something so unjust keeps happening over and over again – and to the same group of people – you simply can’t keep quiet anymore,” Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell stated.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi also commented on the kneeling incident.

“Republicans think that white lies don’t matter,” Pelosi stated. “The truth is that all lies matter, and we’ve caught the president in a big one.”

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All of the porn on the internet is being preserved in this Arctic cave

PornHub CEO Mike Zoffler and countless other companies from the industry have revealed that literally all of the legal pornography on the internet is being stored 375 feet under the Arctic ice in a remote location. Notably, there’s a global treaty to keep the area neutral during times of war; making it an ideal spot for post-apocolyptic release. Meanwhile doomsday preppers call the porn bunker an ideal spot for a massive orgy to repopulate the planet. “Honestly, this is all we’ve been getting ready for,” doomsday guru Aaron Ward stated. “He who survives the end of the world will possess the greatest treasure of all: free access to unlimited porn.” Notably the spank bank looks like something out of a movie, its entrance a phallic obelisk jutting high out of two blinding white orbs. It sparkles with glowing lights and is filled with decades worth of tissues, vibrators, every sex toy known to man, and copious amounts of lube. Advertisements
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