Mattel’s new genderless dolls are infuriating conservative collectors


Mattel has announced a new line of inclusive, customizable, genderless dolls that welcome everyone to play with their toys. The new dolls do not feature breasts or other sex or gender-related characteristics – leaving conservative doll collectors furious.

“My brain shuts down if I don’t know what’s between someone’s legs,” collector Walter Thomas stated. “How will I know which dolls I’m allowed to be attracted to? How will I know if I’m being gay?”

Meanwhile, the Conservative Doll Collectors of America say they plan to boycott, or possibly girlcott Mattel as soon as they get their bearings and “figure out what the hell is going on.”

Leave a Comment

Next Post

Trump releases thousands of nude photos to distract from impeachment proceedings

President Trump included over 1,750 nude photos of himself with whistleblower evidence that he sent to House Democrats. The naked images are making it nearly impossible for investigators to sift through information without becoming violently ill. “The impeachment inquiry is on hold until someone, and I mean anyone – because we’re taking volunteers here – if anyone can manage to remove the interwoven pile of disgusting imagery, ” Speaker Nancy Pelosi stated. “So if you can handle cottage cheese thighs and a tiny penis with no balls, please contact me today.” Because of the lewd photos inclusion in the evidence, a charge of obstruction of justice has been added to the list of Trump’s transgressions.
%d bloggers like this: