Maker of Oxycontin offers 36 pills to every American to settle opioid lawsuits

Purdue Pharma, the makers of oxycontin, announced today that it is willing to settle thousands of lawsuits related to the opioid epidemic by giving Americans $12 billion worth of free pills.

“There’s a lot of people in a lot of pain because of us.” CEO Craig Landau stated. “And Oxycontin will make that pain go away.”