Somewhat vigilant Americans order last round of breadsticks before boycotting Olive Garden

After learning that Olive Garden’s parent company donates to the Trump campaign, liberals everywhere are asking for one last tinfoil bag of over-salted, buttery goodness before never setting foot in the glorified salad bar again.

As of press time, boycotters had already begun purchasing TV dinners as a less expensive, higher quality alternative to the restaurant’s entrees.

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Trump asked advisors if he could nuke bedbugs in his Doral Miami resort

President Trump wants to use nukes like they’re Flex Tape. A leaked memo from the White House depicts President Trump asking staffers to look into using “micro nukes” inside Trump National Doral Miami resort to clear out bedbugs back in 2017. An official statement from the White House denied the exchange ever happened. Meanwhile, President Trump praised the idea. “Whoever came up with the micro nukes idea is likely a genius,” Trump grinned. “And I’m not saying it was me, but it could have been folks. It could have been.”
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