Frozen waffles are for tasteless psychopaths

If you love eating frozen waffles you are a psychopath – plain and simple. Cardboard circles with cubed diabetes reservoirs are not food. Any redeeming qualities someone may appear to have should quickly diminish once you find out they’re a frozen waffle-lover. There’s no room for leeway here.

Frozen waffles are unacceptably high in refined flour content and contribute to insulin resistance and obesity. Furthermore, these icy pancakes with abs are filled with sticky bullshit that contains high-fructose corn syrup which causes inflammation and drives insulin resistance – leading to type 2 diabetes.

We’ll pause here because some of you twats are thinking “well I use REAL maple syrup!” Cool Sharon. It’s still chock-full of sugar and empty calories. Maybe you don’t have a fast pass to take the express lane to diabetes world, but you’ll get there nonetheless.

If your lucky enough to consume a frozen waffle with any flavor whatsoever, that flavor is inevitably akin to licking a penny. So if you enjoy eating frozen shit saucers that come out of the toaster one of two ways: burnt to a crisp or looking like someone fucked it to death; then you are a certified psychopath.


Photo credit Anna