On the same day that Larry King divorced his 7th wife, the new bachelor immediately signed the paperwork to marry and then divorce each of his three mistresses. King’s lawyer said that the TV host wanted “a fresh start and clean break before he starts looking for lucky number 11.” Photo Credit Gage Skidmore
Republicans looking to legalize hemp in Texas have accidentally decriminalized marijuana. Lawmakers learned of their mistake after scientists revealed that there’s no way to decipher between hemp and cannabis without expensive THC testing. What do you think? Janet Johanson, Life Coach in training Harold Mistwell, History Teacher Maria Mendoza finishes her 10 year sentence for possession of marijuana this week at Hilltop Prison in Gatesville, TX.
US Steel, the nation’s second largest producer of steel, will be laying off over 200 employees as a way of celebrating the impacts of Trump’s tariffs. “We’re doing so well that we’ve fulfilled all the orders,” US Steel CEO David Burritt stated. “For the first time in our history we’re all caught up!” As part of the celebration, US Steel will have its 3,000-plus employees draw straws today to see who gets to go home early and permanently.
A tribe of at least 1,200 gigantic Amazonian women has fled into Brazil’s cities in order to escape unbelievably massive rainforest fires that have been burning for three weeks. The invasion of oversized woman left most Brazilians shocked, intrigued or aroused. Many of the towering women, who are all at least 8-feet tall, have already signed lucrative WNBA and modeling contracts. “It’s great that these women have integrated into our society so quickly because we have no plans to stop this fire,” Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro stated. The Amazon, which provides 20% of the planet’s oxygen, will likely burn up completely in the coming weeks.