Meteorologists are predicting there won’t be any weather this coming weekend

“Except for in Hawaii, Alaska and the penis-tip part of Florida – where it will be very wet – Americans should prepare themselves for absolutely nothing.”

Meteorologists across much of the country are predicting that there will not be any weather next weekend in the United States.

“Because of climate change there just won’t be any weather. We’re calling it a ‘weather drought’,” American Meteorological Society President Jenny Davies stated. “Except for in Hawaii, Alaska and the penis-tip part of Florida – where it will be very wet – Americans should prepare themselves for absolutely nothing. It’s going to be terrifying, but you just have to get used to it; these weather droughts will happen more and more often as climate change worsens.”

When asked to describe what the weather drought would feel like, Davies replied, “you know how you can feel empty on the inside? It’s like that, but everywhere.”

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