Aliens Locked Up in Area 51 Are Planning to Storm Nevada, Take Over Rest of the World

YouReadyGrandma

“These little green guys don’t stand a chance,” Nevada Governor Steve Sisolak stated. “Us Nevadans don’t take too kindly to… let’s say… off-white beings. Once they cross that fence they’re going to get lit up like the 4th of July!”

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Trump Signs Executive Order Moving Christmas to the 4th of July

YouReadyGrandma

“What better way to show that the United States is a Christian nation than by celebrating Jesus’ crucifixion on America’s birthday!?” – President Donald J. Trump

Will Ferrell & Brad Pitt Will Star in a Remake of Boyz n the Hood

YouReadyGrandma

“Maybe it’ll actually be good enough to win an award this time.” – Will Ferrell

Staff Forces Joe Biden to Get Hair Plugs So He’ll Stop Smelling Women’s Hair

YouReadyGrandma

Biden’s hair came from his soundproof hobby room where he keeps his personal collection of real hair, mannequins and doll parts.

Mississippi Has Been Feeding Its Unsuspecting Residents Vegan, Plant-Based Protein Since 2009

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s safe to say that most residents of the state of Mississippi have been vegetarian, or close to it, since 2009.” – Governor Phil Bryant

Pet Experts Recommend Calming Your Dog By Letting Them Eat Severed Fingers From 4th of July Fireworks

YouReadyGrandma

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Chick-fil-A Announces It Will Open On Sundays, Be Run By Atheist Employees

YouReadyGrandma

The company is set to increase revenue by a staggering 37% by simply having their most competent employees run the store once a week.

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