“Donald J. Trump is up for Best Performance in a Comedy Series that lasts for one term or less.”
The president cut his speech short and shuffled sideways offstage.
“Farmers are counting themselves lucky that residents will eat anything.”
“The swirling rumors say that Melania refused to return to the White House for two weeks.”
“There’s no room for every musky man to lie down on the concrete, so they have to get creative with the cuddling. It just looks like a great experience.” – Mike Pence
Authorities list gunpowder, Sudafed, oregano, ammonium nitrate fertilizer, paint thinner and celery salt as some of the ingredients.