Mike Pence: “Gay Conversion Therapy Saved My Life”

The Vice President says he still suffers from nervous tics while around attractive men.

During an appearance in Aspen, Colorado Vice President Mike Pence stated that gay conversion therapy had saved his life. The shocking admission came after Pence developed a noticeable twitch during his speech.

“Let me pause. My gay shake is acting up,” a spasming Pence stated. “There’s a very handsome young man here in the front row and I need to ask him to leave.”

After Secret Service escorted the teenage boy from the crowd, the vice president explained what had happened.

“Those paying attention will notice that I have a nervous tic from some shock therapy which comes out whenever I see a categorically attractive man. It’s perfectly normal and the treatment was worth every penny,” Pence stated. “Gay conversation therapy saved my life.”

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