Supreme Court Rules “Corporations Can Also Be Gay People”

Supreme Court Congratulates Joe Biden on Win and Says No Voter Fraud in election

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled today that not only are corporations people, but they can also be LGBTQ+, a move that has shocked and outraged the right wing.

“Next thing you know these gay companies are going to want the right to marry,” President Trump tweeted. “Now I’m a Christian so I know what the Bible says about this. It’s Adam and Summer’s Eve, not Ben and Jerry; although, some Victoria’s Secret and Lane Bryant experimentation sounds intriguing.”

Several gay companies have praised the ruling in official statements, including Budweiser, John Deere, Kum & Go gas stations, Harley Davidson, Ford, Chevy, and Chuck E Cheese’s.

Budweiser says their LGBTQ+ cans and bottles will be the only designs available for the remainder of 2019.

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Headline Photo by Jarek Tuszyński