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Supreme Court Rules “Corporations Can Also Be Gay People”

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled today that not only are corporations people, but they can also be LGBTQ+, a move that has shocked and outraged the right wing.

“Next thing you know these gay companies are going to want the right to marry,” President Trump tweeted. “Now I’m a Christian so I know what the Bible says about this. It’s Adam and Summer’s Eve, not Ben and Jerry; although, some Victoria’s Secret and Lane Bryant experimentation sounds intriguing.”

Several gay companies have praised the ruling in official statements, including Budweiser, John Deere, Kum & Go gas stations, Harley Davidson, Ford, Chevy, and Chuck E Cheese’s.

Budweiser says their LGBTQ+ cans and bottles will be the only designs available for the remainder of 2019.

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Headline Photo by Jarek Tuszyński

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